BRIDEZILLA WENT TOO FAR

Years of cleaning after them, feeding, bathing, teaching, preaching, hugging, fighting, protecting, supporting. After attending hundreds of freezing game nights, teacher days, concert days, field trips, first day of school, last day of school. After puberty hell, first love, first breakup, moving out (at last), moving back in (ugh!).  After all these years under our wings, they find the ONE!

And it is all so exciting, a wedding! About a million details to think about, but somehow, the young couple find the time to summon you. Now I have never participated personally in one of these conversations, but I have my resources, and the gist of it is: "Mom.... ah... thank you for everything you have done for me... but for the wedding... before you go buy anything... we decided that you should wear something teal".

And you, who worked your ass off to send them to college, who had so many sleepless nights when they were sick, or mad, or sad, or high, you are being told what to wear, does it make any sense at all? You find yourself going shopping holding a printed color-palate card, with eight "Beachy Boho" colors options. Even when you went to Hawaii you were wearing black, and now you must spend hours online looking for a "jewel tone" outfit.

Now, I have participated in that conversation, so I can tell you exactly how it goes:

We've heard it all, and every time we are torn between anger, disbelief and feeling sorry for the poor lady that needs to wear a costume on one of the most important days to her and to her child. I don’t get it, and I want someone to, really, explain that to me: Why is it sooooooo important to have an army of ladies wearing pastel uniforms or Old Hollywood style on your wedding night? Are you trying to produce a movie? Is that payback time? An "Instagram moment"? I mean, if everyone is so happy wearing black, or gold, let them be happy. Or maybe you want to make sure that on this evening, you should be the happiest of them all?

And what about the men, ha? How come no one ever tells them what to wear? Let’s see anyone trying to tell daddy that he should be wearing a turquoise suit, because this is a destination Caribbean wedding, right? A tie. They get away with a colorful tie!!!

And the million-dollar question: Could it be that it is all “oh so much fun” and "my daughter is so creative" when it's your own daughter making the ridiculous demands? How much fun is it really going to be when your future daughter-in-law will ask you to wear a “Disney inspired” outfit?

 

Come on, girls and boys. We've raised you. I think we can handle choosing our own clothes. We've got it!